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Do I have Antepartum Depression...?

I recently read about antepartum depression.


I personally have struggled with depression for over 10 years.
So, do I have antepartum depression?

-Probably.

There are some days when I'm not myself -I can feel the disconnect. I exist somewhere else those days but I think my soul wants to be there -wherever that is. So, I let it.

I sit in that place, as if I'm sitting on a cloud hovering over the past year of my life feeling each event as if it was brand new and happening all over again -and feeling all of the pain for the first time.

That is how I would describe my depression.

Some days that cloud holds me tight, other days it's looser and it moves quick.

The past two days it was tight.

Sometimes I think I write better when I am on that cloud and in its grip. Today I am seeing past the cloud. My laughter is coming back over the small things. I smile more without realizing that I am.

The clouded days ~those days I don't even smile at my husband. He says "You're no…

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